Tired, Indigested, and Lazy

Mood: Tired, Indigested, and Lazy
Listening to: Sandwich - Sugod
Reading: Other blogs

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My first holiday here in Davao, without any immediate relatives around, wasn't all bad... nope... not at all! ^_^

Christmas and New Year's Eve were spent at Jade's... who, at one point, had to beg for me to stay... (because, honestly speaking, I still can't feel that I'm wanted over there)... still, I can't help helping myself to their spaghetti... I'm such a sucker for pasta... hee hee.

Anyway, the New Year is 14 hours old already... my friend was messaging me a while back saying that he could've sworn the countdown just ended, but it was 2am... I told him that he'd better not blink or it'll be countdown to 2008 when he opens his eyes.

But then again, I have to admit that I miss my family so much. It felt kind of wierd without them around... gosh... Back in 2005, my Dad was coming back and forth... so at least I got to see him every once in a while. Last year, there was nobody with me at home... none for 95% of the time... It got pretty lonely.... but at least I've got a lot of friends with me, especially Jade, who stuck it with me through thick and thin, rough and smooth... I owe a lot to her... and New Year just shows how little time we have left before I sail away (or should I saw fly away) for greener pastures I have no interest in whatsoever...




ok.. I'd better stop before I get teary-eyed...

such a jolly season...

Mood: Sarcastic
Listening to: keyboards tapping
Reading: the screen that's so gray
Watching: the days fade away
Playing: inside though the cat's away
Eating: my life apart
Drinking: hot chocolate in the dark

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I've got a headache
My iPod got stolen
My undergrad thesis was saved there
And there's no recent backup...

All my close relatives
Are a bajillion miles away
Frolicking through white snow
Or in the living room, so happy...

My girl's parents apparently
They don't like me
So I'm stuck deciding
Whether to spend new year with them like Christmas past...
or by my lonesome.

This is the second time
I'm writing these lines
Since the computer went bonkers
Before I got to press "publish"

Tis the season to be jolly
All that's left however,
Is brown and dry holly...
With the berries all wrinkled up.

Wishing you all
A merry, jolly season...
May it be strewn with colors and lights...
As mine is strewn with emptiness inside.

May your fingers be intact.

Boo-ya.

I got my horns cut off...

... because this Sunday I went to church... not because I suddenly woke up with a heavenly messenger stooping over me saying "GO AND REPENT" but because my kid brother wanted something from our church here for his birthday.

When I got there, fashionably late, it was like a whole different place... everybody who used to be noisy little kids were now noisy teens... and I was like the prodigal son who, exhausted from journeying around, came back...

Now they're expecting me next sunday... and the sundays and activities after that...

Church here is no fun... it's just that I got used to forcing myself awake in my boring classes that I was able to keep my eyes open... my dilemma now is getting up early every sunday for church when I don't feel like it (the service).. the people and the hospitality, I like...

but, religion really isn't in my blood...

Is that a crime?



Dec.30 update:

by Aich-kun... (read comments for further understanding)

The Time Can Be Counted Now

Mood: assiatic
Listening to: Gavin de Graw - Chemical Party
Reading: CSS Codes

The days are numbered, as follows (starting tomorrow):
10 days till Christmas
16 days till New Year
61 days till Valentine's Day
87 days till me and my girlfriend's 3rd Anniversary
106 days left to do whatever I want to do here in Davao City before leaving for Manila and ultimately leaving for the USA for an indefinite period of heartwrenching time.

... and as I realized that, my heart skipped a beat. Put simply, that's 106 days left with Jade... I've been such an ass... no wonder she's getting a bit messed up about the whole leaving thing. I mean, I should be getting messed-up as well!

Come to think of it, I've been something more than an ass... It's like one big wrecking ball just slammed reality into my head... *insert effects here* ... I'm obliged to leave my heart here when the time comes. It's kind of hard to imagine living without it.

We've been through a lot together (about 90% of those 1008 days we spent in the presence of each other which, in my opinion, is more time spent together compared with other relationships I've heard of... even my own parents... go ahead, try being classmates with your girl in all subjects...) and frankly, it wasn't a walk in the park.

I've fallen in love with her, fallen out of it with her (got that from The Road Less Travelled), spent 1008 days on the rollercoaster of life with her... to sum it all up, the past almost-three-years I spent with school and her... I've utterly forgotten how it felt to be single. And I don't think I'm ready to be "single" again. (Sing: We've been together now for such a long time...)
Well, the physical part of our relationship will be unavoidably divided... I just don't know how it would be when we would join the ranks of those struggling to maintain a strong relationship with loved ones overseas.

1008 days... when it seems like we just unanimously agreed to "take the chance" last night.
She's the one. I know it. I can feel it in my bones. But what is in store for the both of us when we suddenly find ourselves waking up each day and realizing that we're not seeing each other. It's like my mind has subconsciously filtered out thoughts of the possibilities. I mean, I think it's mean of me not being able to think about it, even if I tried. There's a roadblock which I haven't detoured yet. I want it down. I want it out. Because, I've realized, recently I've been in denial... Recently, I've been unknowingly hurting her feelings... Recently, I've been an ass...

No, something less developed... like an ameoba, or some other one-celled organism....

After saying "sorry", could this ameoba be forgiven? Because I really, really, really, really, want to make up for all the "lost" time if I could... and to make the remaining time unforgettable...

aaaaHA!!!

Gawd...

Finally, I'm almost done. Thanks to aicha, anyway.... mine's definitely a ripoff of hers... and until I get the hang of CSS, I'll be sticking to this...

I might move hangingbymynecktie here....