The Time Can Be Counted Now

Mood: assiatic
Listening to: Gavin de Graw - Chemical Party
Reading: CSS Codes

The days are numbered, as follows (starting tomorrow):
10 days till Christmas
16 days till New Year
61 days till Valentine's Day
87 days till me and my girlfriend's 3rd Anniversary
106 days left to do whatever I want to do here in Davao City before leaving for Manila and ultimately leaving for the USA for an indefinite period of heartwrenching time.

... and as I realized that, my heart skipped a beat. Put simply, that's 106 days left with Jade... I've been such an ass... no wonder she's getting a bit messed up about the whole leaving thing. I mean, I should be getting messed-up as well!

Come to think of it, I've been something more than an ass... It's like one big wrecking ball just slammed reality into my head... *insert effects here* ... I'm obliged to leave my heart here when the time comes. It's kind of hard to imagine living without it.

We've been through a lot together (about 90% of those 1008 days we spent in the presence of each other which, in my opinion, is more time spent together compared with other relationships I've heard of... even my own parents... go ahead, try being classmates with your girl in all subjects...) and frankly, it wasn't a walk in the park.

I've fallen in love with her, fallen out of it with her (got that from The Road Less Travelled), spent 1008 days on the rollercoaster of life with her... to sum it all up, the past almost-three-years I spent with school and her... I've utterly forgotten how it felt to be single. And I don't think I'm ready to be "single" again. (Sing: We've been together now for such a long time...)
Well, the physical part of our relationship will be unavoidably divided... I just don't know how it would be when we would join the ranks of those struggling to maintain a strong relationship with loved ones overseas.

1008 days... when it seems like we just unanimously agreed to "take the chance" last night.
She's the one. I know it. I can feel it in my bones. But what is in store for the both of us when we suddenly find ourselves waking up each day and realizing that we're not seeing each other. It's like my mind has subconsciously filtered out thoughts of the possibilities. I mean, I think it's mean of me not being able to think about it, even if I tried. There's a roadblock which I haven't detoured yet. I want it down. I want it out. Because, I've realized, recently I've been in denial... Recently, I've been unknowingly hurting her feelings... Recently, I've been an ass...

No, something less developed... like an ameoba, or some other one-celled organism....

After saying "sorry", could this ameoba be forgiven? Because I really, really, really, really, want to make up for all the "lost" time if I could... and to make the remaining time unforgettable...